“So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.
-The Eagles, “All Ready Gone”
I spoke with 2 different people this week and both of these men were telling me about injustices they had experienced in the past and how they hated the person, going on and on about how rotten they were and they can’t stand to think of them.
And, one incident happened 30 years ago in high school no less and the other 10 years ago. Now that is what I call holding onto negative energy that does absolutely nothing but weigh you down. It keeps you locked prisoner in a self-inflicted torture chamber by holding onto animosity, anger and hatred.
Interestingly, I also ran into a women this week who I hadn’t seen in at least 10 years who was so rude to me one night and classless about the way she went about attacking me in front of a small group of friends, that I justifiably could have snubbed her and made her feel bad. Particularly, since she walked into a venue that was on my turf so to speak.
I instantly thought about how unfair she had been and in a split second I had to decide how I was going to react to her. I was nice. I thought, she is the one who has to live with what she did, people make mistakes and what good would it do for me to embarrass her or try and make her feel bad? Plus, I thought why would I put myself on her level, just let bygones be bygones.
Holding onto negative feelings toward someone for something they did to you is not worth your precious time. It’s you that suffers. It’s you that carries the past hurts around like rotten garbage that you won’t throw out. And, you are the only one who can choose whether to hold onto it longer or release yourself from the weight of the past.
You can almost pick out the people who won’t let go, they are typically miserable. They are definitely negative and they lack a joy for life that shows up in their faces, their health and their overall attitude towards life.
The worst part of it is they are doing this to themselves and they do this by the very thoughts and words they use to think about it, describe it to others and by choosing not to let it go.
For some people this seems to be so foreign to them – the fact that it’s them that is doing this to themselves and they feel they don’t have a choice in the matter. They simply feel like this because of what happened! The truth is they simply feel this way because they continue to feed themselves all of the sour, nasty, hateful thoughts they can think of and wallow in their past misery.
When you learn to forgive others it is you that benefits. You free yourself from holding onto the past and you lighten your mental load. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. When you start down that negative path, conjuring up what they did and how it made you feel, simply say, “I bless them and release them.” If you can’t bear to say you bless them, just say, “I release them.”
When bad things happen to you and they do to everyone, don’t be one of those people who allow it to ruin your life, be the one who knows that injustices, heartache and pain are unavoidable in life and it’s 100% up to you as to how you are going to handle it when it does happen.
You have the power to choose at any time, this very minute, to let go of the past and begin to enjoy your life again. So lighten your load by releasing all of the pent up anger and hurt feelings and move on to living the kind of life you deserve; one filled with laughter, peace and good times. It really is your choice!