Seven days when my daughter and father-in-law died on the identical weekend, I started my 2007 journal. Putting my thoughts into words was helpful. Eight weeks later, when my brother died, I continued to write. Six months later, when my former son-in-law died, I realized I was writing to survive.
I found hope in my journal pages and they eventually became a book. Life is stressful and confusing when you have got suffered multiple losses. You will not think you’ve got time to keep a journal, but I encourage you to try to to it. Journaling will help you do your grief work and reconcile your losses. These journaling tips worked on behalf of me and I hope they work for you.
1. Feelings first. Multiple losses create dozens of feelings. Your journal is a perfect place to ventilate, name your feelings, and see where they lead. Feelings are messages from your subconscious and acutely aware mind and you wish to concentrate to them. Recovery is doable solely after you have got faced your feelings and therefore the pain that comes with them.
2. Specialise in one. Multiple losses force you to look at your relationship with every of the deceased. This emotional task will take years, particularly if you’ve got suffered multiple losses. My daughter’s death was the foremost shocking so most of my journal entries were concerning her. I wrote regarding her strengths, weaknesses, and accomplishments. Once I reconciled this loss I wrote concerning my other three losses.
3. Record events. Every loss creates secondary losses and they can be as massive a burden as death itself. Listing these losses in your journal will help you cope with them. Concentrate to your secondary losses as a result of they’re so much-reaching. Make sure you date every journal entry.
4. Write without thinking. This tip, known as stream of consciousness writing, comes from Kathleen Adams, MA, author of “Journal to the Self.” She compares journal writing to emptying a purse, a process that permits you to “sift through and see what has been forgotten, what has been overlooked, what can be discarded.” You discover new things concerning yourself after you write without thinking.
5. Track grief work. Recovering from multiple losses takes longer than recovering from one. But the stress of multiple losses could obscure your progress. I didn’t notice the extent of my progress until I read my journal entries. Rather than being stuck in grief, I was moving forward, and I made a list of the proactive steps I had taken. Your journal can facilitate you create a similar list.
6. Remodel yourself. Multiple losses, especially the death of a child, changes you forever. You’re a totally different person. Judy Tatelbam writes concerning this transformation in her book, “The Courage to Grieve.” “So deeply are we tend to moved by the impact of severing a love relationship,” she writes, “that we are certain to change in some way.” Tatelbaum thinks mourners can be “creative survivors.” I’m a artistic survivor and my journal helped me become one. Your journal can cause you to a replacement life.
Journaling concerning multiple losses isn’t easy. You’ll cry, get your feelings beneath management, and cry again. Still, journaling is worth the time, pain, and self-examination. Months from now, your words can reveal a replacement and stronger you.