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Five Necessary Steps You Should Take to Go From Grief to Emotional And Religious Growth

Previous to the arrival of grief, life seems to make sense, but grief introduces thoughts and emotions that we are typically unable to resolve. Yet the struggle to find answers and restore balance to out world will be a journey of self renewal and religious growth. I’m suggesting 5 steps that would facilitate this journey.

1. Understand the association between emotions and spirituality

Emotions are a elementary half of what is to be human. We have a tendency to define ourselves by how we tend to feel. To say I’m happy is to mean I’m experiencing a feeling that I enjoy. Grief is inevitably among negative emotional states. These could embody rage, unhappiness, anxiety, and fear. The spirit that is among us is that the repository of our emotions, consequently once we experience extreme negative emotions like people who characterize grief, it generates religious distress. Grief is therefore a time of religious distress that sets up a crisis within the way we have a tendency to relate to self, others and God.

2. Work towards acceptance

Healing the spirit of the pain of negative emotions caused by an incident like grief involves acceptance of the fact of the pain. Ironically, we tend to usually taught not to speak, feel or trust when in distress. In my work I frequently encounter persons who have experienced important and generally multiple losses and have spent in some cases several years trying to avoid even talking regarding the pain. On the other hand some appear stuck in talking about the pain but never seem to get beyond that. True acceptance suggests that acknowledging the existence of the pain and also the impact it has had on my life while not blaming anyone for it. My goal thus is to explain my emotions, the pain I expertise, and reflect on its impact on my life while resisting the shame that that’s inevitably seeking to invade my thoughts. I can best try this by not blaming anyone for the means I feel. I feel what I feel because it’s human to feel that way and I am human.

3. Understand the association between blame and shame

The instant I start blaming somebody for the manner I feel, I give them possession of my feelings and that generates a sense of shame. Perhaps the shame emerges out of my feelings of helplessness at realizing that I am not in control of my self, or that I feel inferior to others for feeling the way I do since others do not seem to be affected in the same way. No matter the reasons, after I blame another for the means I feel and act, this usually leads to shameful thoughts regarding myself. This can be significantly true for one who believes in God and finds him/herself blaming God for the suffering caused by grief. A typical question like, “why did God take my loved one?” suggests that God should not care about me otherwise he would not enable such pain to me and my family. If I suppose God does not care regarding me, that thought generates shame and self loathing. But if I can acknowledge and settle for my feelings while not blaming, my non secular healing can begin.

4. Learn to recognize the different faces of shame

Within the Previous Testament book of Ruth, the central figure Naomi returns to her home village once loosing her husband and 2 sons in death. She has been devastated by her losses. When she gets to her village previous friends come out to greet her, “Naomi is back!” was the exclamation. Naomi within the throes of her grief declares to them, “don’t call me Naomi, decision me ‘Marah’ (which means that bitter) for I went away full but God has brought me back empty.” Here Naomi blames God for scenario and her shame is experienced as bitterness. Shame can crop up in several forms, rage, depression, suicidal thoughts, and helplessness. After we will be able to unmask the shame and see it for what it’s, we can unharness it and move on to additional life affirming thoughts, feelings and actions.

5. Releasing shame permits spiritual connection

Releasing shame permits us to reconnect with ourselves, others and God during a healthy way. This can be the basis of non secular growth and healing. As I have written elsewhere; non secular growth includes increased ability to manage one’s emotional state. Unconditional love and acceptance replace fear and shame. Over time those negative emotions no longer possess the destructive power they held over us.

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