It is interesting to know how individuals in successful marriages complement each other in terms of their intelligence, behavior, maturity, stress handling ability and so on. These qualities are actually contributed by the individual’s birth traits of the person. Before we could understand the rationale behind matching of couples by their birth traits, we shall understand the birth traits that contribute to the behavior of a person.
Through observation and research, I have seen that there are four characteristics that signify the behavior of a person. These are
- The activeness of hemispheres of the brain
- The analytical or expressive behavior of the person
- The lead or follow trait of a person
- The capacity of the mind
Firstly, the brain is divided into two hemispheres. The right and the left hemispheres. The right side of the brain signifies intuitive thinking and the left hemisphere signifies logical reasoning or thinking.
Analytical or expressive behavior of a person is the third trait that has to be considered in match making for marriages. Individuals are either analytical, silent, introverts and reserved in nature. Or they are expressive, talkative, extroverts and outgoing in nature.
The capacity of the mind varies from individual to individual. The integrated thinking, handling of multiple issues, multi-dimensional learning and stress handling abilities against multiple issues are the outcomes of the capacity and strength of the heart. Interestingly, the experience of first love of individuals is a measure of the strength of the heart.
Finally, lead or follow behavior of a person is a characteristic that has to match in marriages. This trait can also be termed as dominant or non-dominant quality of a person. This trait has the qualities like fighting spirit against failures or distress situation in other words never give up attitude, degree of dependence in decision making, degree of initiative taking capabilities, dominant in decisions, long sightedness, responsiveness to force, driven by totality in a decision rather that individual points.
Now that we have understood the four qualities that are naturally inherited in an individual; we shall understand how these traits match for a successful marriage. To avoid clashes between these traits in couples and rather complement each other the traits have to be opposite in nature. It is as simple as the like poles repel and unlike poles attract principle.
For example, if an individual is logical thinking, expressive in nature, dominant in decisions making i.e. lead trait and strong at heart, the spouse will be intuitive thinking, analytical in nature and non-dominant in decisions initiation and conclusion.
Most importantly these qualities in individuals are by birth and do not change throughout the life in comparative terms. The leadership quality mentioned above is different from qualities developed due to positions or designations, intelligence, circumstances and learning in leadership through experience. Whatever might be the cultural practice, religion, language or citizenship the above three qualities have to match for a successful marriage.
To conclude in simple way the golden rule for a happy marriage is that “opposites match in marriages”.
Copyright Ganesh Raj U 2019