Playing This Social Game Can Hurt

What is game? Game is a metaphor we used in the dating world to desensitize or objectify what we encounter out in social gathering so we won’t take it personally. And I admit, it can hurt. There will be nights when you will feel more pain having gone out than if you had stayed in and wish that you haven’t gone out. What is this feeling? It can be depression, dissatisfaction, disappointment, embarrassment, failure, etc.

But this is a stage, and if you ever want take your game to the next level you have to got through those pains for those will be the lessons for you to absorb so you will polish your social intuition and calibration. In fact, don’t even focus on these negative emotions for they will drain you and distract you from having an objective view on your social performance. Reframe your experience in “what can I learn from this?”

So you are out in a club and you open a set, you get the girl talking, you two are dancing having fun and laughing, and you say to yourself, “Already, I have this chick now!” and occupy the entire evening only with her, then all of a sudden she pulls away and acts like she doesn’t know you. Confused? Instead of focusing on the negative emotions of failure or dissatisfaction, what have you learned?

Maybe you were too clinging and needy pushing her away and so will need to break away, or you were talking too much, or not contributing enough to the interaction. Whatever it is, take a step back and reflect upon it to understand the bigger picture, which is to improve your skills in the long haul instead of beating yourself up over one minor loss; that is how you will beat this game.

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